'twas bound to catch up with me eventually

[mi_guida]

Sleep. Gods. I need sleep.

I also need to write two essays in three days when 3/4 of the time is apready filled, if I want to start term sleeping at a sensible time.

Today was wonderful, the college is now clean and shiny, and TIOBE is on the way to being cast, just callbacks now - a wonderful wonderful Dr Chasuble appeared by magic, and another man who I knew was turning up was just the sweetest boy and I wanted to adopt him.

Then, there was OULES, and it was simply marvellous, I really had forgotten how much I like doing the acting and not just directing things. And drinks and talking afterwards was wonderful too, I'm really back with people, really here...

...and there's the rub. Because I'm here, now, and enjoying it, but gradually, something is cutting me off from everybody. I don't want it to, I want to wrap myself up in everyone and everything and not let go when I'm away next year, but self-protection is making a mechanism start to cut it all off, to stop it hurting. But I know that's going to hurt me more.

I know I'm tired, and I am going to bed. But this isn't just because I'm tired. And I hate it.

Comments

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

*snugglelove*
This time is the world's gift to you. Accept it gracefully, and trust that even if things get shit, there'll be more of the good stuff later.

Promise I will come stalk you next year. It's not like I'm going to be doing anything better.

Loveyou.

[mi-guida.livejournal.com]

*snuggles sleep-wakingly*

Please do come stalk me. In Paris, no less - trouble is, it stole a little bit of my heart already, which is why I'm not just bottling out of next year.

Lunch on Tuesday? Am free between 1 and 3...

Loveyou x

[fiona-kitty.livejournal.com]

I don't want it to, I want to wrap myself up in everyone and everything and not let go when I'm away next year, but self-protection is making a mechanism start to cut it all off, to stop it hurting. But I know that's going to hurt me more.

I can empathise with that a lot, what with not having a clue what's happening after June and trying to get used to the lonely hours of cramnation and revision. Eurk, (potential) finals.

Good luck with the essays. I am currently doing all of my holiday work in one all nighter. :-/

[mi-guida.livejournal.com]

Ouch... get it done ok? These are just normal tute essays, but with the Ball last few days, my "oh the tute's aren't till Thursday" theory just crashed and burned!

Waking-ness and tea hasn't help the disassociation thing much :(